Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
