i was born a porn star she said
You smell like a Billy Joel song
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
