i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
