God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
COCAINE IS GR8
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
