so explain again why im purple
no
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
