Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
