I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
operation have a gay friend backfired
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
