went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
