I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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