Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
