He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
