No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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