I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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