please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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