I'd wear matching sweaters with you
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
