But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Randomize