ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
