I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
