I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
