I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
