You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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