just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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