I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
