Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
