I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
