god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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