I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
