I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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