I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
