piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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