we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
