everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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