he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
