Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Actions speak louder than pants.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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