At least make sure they are 18
Why
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Randomize
