So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
