i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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