apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
