she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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