I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
