What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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