Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
