me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
