shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
