ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
