Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
