I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
