batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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