thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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