I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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