Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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