It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
