If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
