it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
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